She's A Good Girl, Loves Her Mama
"Such a muddy line between
The things you want
And the things you have to do."
~ Sheryl Crow, Leaving Las Vegas
I told her that she was old enough to know what was going on. That an evil man took a gun and stood in a window in a hotel room and shot the gun into a crowd at a concert while we were sleeping.
She wanted to cry. And her little sensitive, sparkly brain and soul couldn't quite wrap itself around the fact that evil lurks and leaps and listens and lies in wait. She knows we are going to Vegas for our anniversary in a few months. And now she thinks we will be unsafe. And I don't know how to explain to her that there is a real possibility that every day we kiss each other goodbye that could be the last time we see each other here. But for that reality, she's too little.
Her big eyes were wide as she announced with authority that she was never going outside again so that she would always be safe. And she slowly melted into my arms as I firmly, yet tenderly told her that we couldn't be frozen with fear. She asked me if we were going to be okay and had to be honest - I can't promise that we will always be okay. We aren't guaranteed that. But I can promise that I love Jesus. And because I love Jesus, I know that He will always take care of me.
And then she asked me the big question: why does God make bad people?
I. Am. So. Not. Equipped. To answer these questions - mostly because I have them myself. But there she was, staring at me. Waiting for an answer. God doesn't make bad people, baby. People choose to be evil.
After a few minutes of adequate pondering & meditative "nuggling", my eight year old looked at me and declared: If I was the President, I would arrest bad people with guns and make shooting guns illegal. This sparked a mini civics lesson on the right to bare arms and the 2nd Amendment. After listening to a condensed version of the Founding Fathers' weapon ideals, she began to think through her firearm position. To which she added: I'm pretty sure Thomas Jefferson is listening right now. And he's really proud.
I find it fitting - she's a good girl/loves her Mama/loves Jesus/and America too.