Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

The Yellow Brick road leads us to a better place, right?  At least, that is what Dorothy thought.  That’s why the Scarecrow and the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion followed her down the road to Oz - to find something better, something where “the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”.

For many of us, 2017 has not brought us to the Emerald City - more like we are stuck in the forest on the perimeter, lost and scared and lonely.  Twelve months ago, we followed that yellow brick road in hopes of a final destination full of sparkle and celebration and excitement.  And Hope.  Then the sidewalk ended.  Nothing sparkly in sight.  We’ve reached the end.  Engulfed in gray.  Confused and anxious.  And battered.

Personally, 2017 has been a year of self-searching, new goal setting, a creativity conundrum.  The personal peaks have been incredible - a new job, another degree, a family vacations to Dollywood, my parents and sister moving down the road, watching my little ladies grow with curiosity and creativity and character.  Our halls and walls have echoed with silly giggles and game nights and dance parties.  We’ve grown closer as a family.  More in love as a couple.  Older.  And wiser.

This doesn’t mean that we weren’t without trials.  I stood helpless as many around me struggled to find their footing, their purpose.  A debilitating diagnosis.  The Unknown.  Struggles of depression and self worth were real.  Honesty & reality wasn’t often portrayed in my Instagram pictures or Facebook posts.  The smiles of two adorable little ladies masked the tears and pain of others I love so deeply.  Often I found myself the sounding board for many that I love.  Sometimes the rational one.  Too often the advice giver.  I’m usually the seeker of advice so to be positioned as the giver was a new role.  I had to learn to be patient.  To really listen.  To seek to understand.  I had to learn how to shift my paradigm to find insight.  To see all sides clearly.  Tread on eggshells of truth.  Too many times I didn’t have the right words and I would just pray that the right words would come.  That wisdom would be sought.

Weight struggles.  Work struggles.  Writing struggles.  All real.  All necessary.  All leading to change.

I continue to struggle with the reality that blares from the nightly news.

Because I had Hoped that the golden road would lead us to the Emerald City, but had to come to grips with the distant light beaming in the darkness.  Out of our reach.  The light like at the end of Gatsby’s dock, symbolizing the unattainable American Dream.  And like Gatsby, we had to shift and change and reemerge with a clearer understanding of dream.

We have to Hope that one day, the dream will reemerge reinvented.  And we have to decide that instead of following the path, we will begin to take an active role in laying the bricks before us.

Because we get to start again tomorrow.  We get to choose our adventure.

… And so the adventure {of 2018} begins.

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